I'm fine

Shop assistant: Those shouldn't be stacked on the trolley like that.

 

I'm making my way to the till with 4 sleepers from the gardening section of our small local B&Q. I stacked them upright in the boards bit of the trolley. I spose they should've been lying flat. They haven't moved though. I'm being slow & careful.

 

Do you want me to stack them for you?

 

It's not far to the till. The shop's really quiet...

 

I'm fine.

They shouldn't be like that.

It's OK, they haven't moved.

I head for the till & take my place in the queue. After a couple of minutes, he's back.
 

I can stack them for you...

I'm here now; it's fine.

But they shouldn't be like that. Shall I stack them?
It won't take long.

I really don't mind.

 

& so he starts to rearrange the trolley. After he's moved 1 sleeper & is just starting on the 2nd, it's my turn at the till. I need to move the trolley, but he's got an armful of sleeper...

 

We're on.

 

I start to pull the trolley toward the till. He staggers forward with the sleeper & dumps it back on the trolley. I have to brace against it to stop it rolling into my shins.

There's another problem - the sleepers don't have a barcode. A member of staff is required to go get it. Our man volunteers, but not until he's finished stacking the remaining 2 sleepers.

So I wait. The tillfolk serve the other customers. & I wait. & I wait.

Eventually, he's back.

 

Can you believe it?! The manager told me off! For helping you!?! He said "She said she was fine". But it's health & safety!

 

His feelings are hurt. He's confused. He's looking to me & the till lady for sympathy...

Even more eventually he hands over the code. I finally pay for the sleepers.

 

Do you want a hand with those to the car.

No, I'm fine.

But it's a bit bumpy out there.

I'm fine.

But it can be quite dangerous & the trolley can run away....

No thank you, I'm fine.

 

He goes away. Finally.



 

Back at the trolley, I check my receipt. They've only charged me for 3 sleepers. I've got 4. I toss the moral coin in my mind, but I already know I'll go back & pay for it. I approach the lady at the till & explain. She thanks me for my honesty. While we wait for the card machine to do its thing, I feel the need to say:

I'm a big girl. I can lift stuff. I will be OK.

 

She said: I used to lift stuff all the time in here, but since I've been back from maternity leave, they keep me on the till.

 

It depresses me that some folk still think that women can't lift anything heavier than a shopping bag. Maybe it's a generational thing - my 'assistant' was 60 if he was a day. Maybe he thought he was being gallant. But, if he wants to take the health & safety line, I'd wager his back was more at risk than mine.

 

Besides, who the hell does he think is going to be lugging these sleepers around the garden all afternoon...?

 



One step at a time

The snow was back Sunday morning.
But I still have a tree to plant in stinky dog corner.
But I've got more structural work to do before it goes in, & that's going to take all day.
But it is quite literally baltic out there...

I bought the tree last weekend & it has already fallen over in its pot once, when the wind got up midweek. Fortunately it isn't damaged, but I do this all the time: buy something expensive & leaving it lying around neglected/rotting/dying.

But today is not that day.

Grasping at a very short straw (that it was very sunny for about 30 mins between the very brief snow showers), I decided to Carpe the damn Diem & get out there.

A quick jaunt to B&Q, filling up the passenger seat of little car with "rustic sleepers", then back to the ranch to use them as steps of the grand dog corner terracing plan.

An editorial aside: As (for me) this blog is about playing with blogging tech as well as gardening, I'm now going to try something new. Those waiting since the New Year for Japan posts will know that I'm struggling with a content backlog, so I'm wondering if a format change might help. For this post I'm going to try intro - piccies - outro, with all the explanation in the picture captions. I'd love to know what you think.

1st things 1st: Finish clearing the rest of the weeds from stinky dog corner.
All systemic weeds though so they're not going into my compost heap;
they'll go into the Council compost bin instead.

That's not vermiculite & meteors. That's snow.
I think my face has frozen.

Straight down the centre line:
I've still got the centre point pegged out from last year's path laying,
& the steps will respect that arc.

So, how far apart should they be?
A bit of shuffling the sleepers, measuring, & marking with bamboo pegs.

Cutting the steps out of the top soil.
A bit of level checking at this point too, so I'm at least in the ball park.

Weed barrier fabric laid in overlapping sections, with bamboo rails to
help keep the corners tight. Hopefully, by not using just a single run of
fabric from top to bottom, I'll reduce the risk of movement across the
whole run.

The sleepers placed on a bed of sand, levelled left to right, but with a slight tilt
backwards. The sleepers are not pegged down in anyway as this won't be a high
traffic area... I might revisit this decision if things start shifting though.

The rest of the fabric is covered with sand.
There'll be more gravel once I've nipped back to B&Q.

As you can see, there's more work to do: the rest of the terracing needs to go in. Then planting to soften the edges, maybe some low-lying things in gravel &, oh yes, plant the feckin' tree... still didn't manage that. But I was chuffed with my afternoon's work, and my ability not to trip up or stab myself while trying to think with an ice cube brain. & I learnt that it is waaaaaay easier to keep going than it is to get started.

So that's the end of the post - please add a comment to let me know what you think of this format. Thanks! :)

Honoured guests & unwanted pests

The plan on Sunday was to plant a tree. That was the plan. But that's the thing with plans - they change.

While grubbing around in the bottom left corner of the garden where I want to plant the tree, I spotted this in the top of the boundary wall:

Signs of burrowing

Look closely between the stones & you'll spot 2 holes. Too big for mouse holes. This is rats again, & alive this time, not dead in a bag.

I imagine the wall is a dandy ratty abode. Stone on the outside, soil on the inside, plenty of room, shelter, & rarely disturbed... a veritable des rodent res.

I can't let this stand, I have to do something to deter the rats from remaining in residence. So this revelation scuppers another plan - not only am I not planting the tree, but I am now removing my attempted honeysuckle screen.

Best laid plans

Down that end of the garden, over the other side of the wall, the neighbours have their dog cage. And it stinks. It's not hosed down much, so the smell is rank most of the time, proper gopping on a sunny day. It's a shame cos that corner of our garden would be an ideal location for a water feature, or a bench on which to sit & catch the last of the evening sun. But such whimsy is just not an option because of the overriding stench.

I had hoped to create a sweet smelling, long flowering screen, by training the vigorous honeysuckle we already have over a trellis. A trial trellis went up last year & the honeysuckle has romped away. So this year I had intended to replace the trellis with something more sturdy & keep weaving the tendrils in.

But now... it's got to come down. I need to keep an eye on the wall to see how much rat action there is. Time for a Plan B (or is that C...?).

Everybody out

The soil in the wall supports many plants: a nice blue trailing thing; the occasional mountaineering foxglove; a whole host of nettles; 2 tree saplings.... yeah, these guys should've been out well before now...

I quite like nettles. If you can tolerate them in the garden, they're great for the wildlife (caterpillars & pollinators), good in the kitchen & you can even make textile dyes from them: green from the tops & yellow from the roots. And the yellow roots I think are my favourite bit of the plant, cos it means that when I'm yanking them out I know exactly what they are :)

Yellow nettle roots

Deter & observe

With the top of the wall cleared, I want to keep it that way so I can see what level of ratty activity we're dealing with. So I took the soil level down a bit & lined the top of the wall with polythene. The garden waste recycling bin is already full from the purge the other week, so I'm having to bag up offcuts at the mo. I'd just nipped up the shop for a new roll of garden sacks & figured they'd make a great (& cheap, & to hand, & just the right width straight off the roll) alternative to some of that barrier membrane stuff we've got under the gravel.

Plastic down, & covered with 2 bags of gravel, it now looks a lot tidier:

Gravel dressing over a double layer of polythene

Given how eager things like thyme, rocket, foxgloves, poppies are to seed themselves into gravel in other areas, I'm sure this won't be bare for long. And any incomers will be more manageable than the previous thick mat of nettles & grass.

Finish on a song

All the hacked honeysuckle took a little time to clear, & while tidying up I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye:

My clean-up companion

This little laddie/lassie was hopping in & out of the gooseberry's bare branches, picking up bits I'd disturbed. It was remarkably bold, not more than a meter away - I've never been this close to a Robin in our garden before. I thought it would scarper as soon as I moved, but no. It kept hopping in & out of the bushes to have a peck around. It appeared so tame I wondered if someone had been feeding it by hand.

Then, as I sat stuffing garden sacks, it sat & sang. It was just lovely.

I reckon there's a nest in them there shrubs.

Bargain, or weakness?

I've done it again. I've splurged unexpectedly at the supermarket. But, but, it was the perfect plant. Honest.

The rationale

• They're hellebores - an item on my fantasy plant list (I'm compiling that at the mo & will it share with you another day).
• They're white - fitting my colour scheme for shady corner, & being woodland souls shade is what they like.
• They're face up - many hellebores have droopy flower heads, but not these.
• They're 2 for £5 - a bargain, surely...?

Hellebores are in flower right now & so there was a huge display in the garden centre on Saturday. & the garden centre wanted £20 per plant.
TWENTY QUID!?!
They were big plants, I admit, but still... I'd want a tree for 20 quid.

So today, when I saw the perfect plant 2 for a fiver, it just had to be done.

Too pretty not to...

Now I just have work on being unrepentant about impulse buying.

New old book!

A little while ago, I was chatting with a mate about grand garden plans:

"Our place isn't really big enough for a dedicated 'veg patch'. Besides, I don't really like that regimented veg look. I'd prefer flower beds with veg in, like Alys Fowler does."

"You want a copy of Geoff Hamilton's 'Ornamental Kitchen Garden' you do."

"New book, you say? Well, if I must..."

Yeah, I want our garden to look just like that

Dealing with the devil

So off to Amazon. Yeah, I know. I'm weak. I've got a problem. But I can handle it! I can't handle it...

I've started using the Marketplace sellers a whole lot more since the tax dodging news broke. It feels like having the advantage if Amazon but whilst supporting small businesses. I'm probably fooling myself. I'm weaning myself off as I'm not strong enough to go cold turkey. Marketplace - methadone for Amazon junkies.

The seller I chose was Better World Books. They sell second-hand books to fund literacy projects. Cool, eh?

At 1st flick through, the book looks great: a bit if history; some design & construction (never say never on building your own rose arbour); a jobs-each-month section with double photo pages showing seasonal stars; plant-specific care & propagation. It's all good :)

I love the drawing bit too

Feature plants by season

About the author

For anyone too young to remember, Geoff Hamilton used to present Gardeners' World, before Monty Don. Before Toby Buckland, Before Monty Don's 1st stint. Before Alan Titchmarsh... yep, bloody ages ago.

To be honest, I didn't really like him back then. He was a bit old school. A bit blokey. A bit safe in his aesthetic.

But looking back I can see why others remember him fondly.

He tended to assume the audience was on a tight budget so there was none of this buying 100 new tulip bulbs every year bollox.

He was a DIY diva, but broke the projects down to basic enough steps, without being patronising, so you had a fighting chance of finishing the job without having to call in Ground force.

And he was pretty swift off the blocks on the eco-gardening route - in the book he is so apologetic for having to recommend a heavy duty weedkiller when facing a plot full of systemic nasties, & he provides non-chemical alternatives too.

He had a humility about his knowledge that Monty Don will never master.

Time to adjourn to the sofa with the book, coffee & biscuits. Cheers for the tip-off, Mrs Fuzzy Felt :)

Rat in a bag

We live on the end of a terrace. Our street is a cut through from the bottom of the High Street to a big estate & the local dene park, so we get a lot of through-traffic: dog walkers mostly; the occasional horse rider; commonly pissed-up weekend revellers on their noisy way home.

As a result, the garden picks up a lot of detritus. Pruning the hedge often yields treasure: I've had perfectly serviceable mugs & pint glasses out of it, as well as the less exciting crisp packets & spent Fosters cans.

As I've probably mentioned before, the wind fair whips & swirls around both the garden & the yard, so it's not uncommon to open the curtains to find a plastic bag in the middle of the lawn, which is exactly why Wednesday morning's weather report was "No snow, placcy bag on the lawn".

I'll admit I was a bit surprised it hadn't moved by Thursday morning, but then it wasn't very windy. Still there on Friday. I thought nothing of it other than "I'll sort that tomorrow".

So hubby heads out this morning & picks it up. "Ah" he says, flatly. "It's got a dead rat in it". Certainly explains why it wasn't blowing around...

It was a big fella too. Very deliberately chucked over the wall, but deliberately for us? We have had a rat problem in the past but after hubby's stirling poisoning work expunged the buggers from inside the walls, this winter has been the 1st in ages mercifully free from random scratching & scurryings.

& I've not seen rats in the garden since unearthing one when turning the compost the other year. Man, that one was huge. I don't know who jumped higher - me or she.

But a rat in a bag is just odd. Does someone think it's ours? Is it a message from some local low-rent mafioso we've unwittingly dissed? Is it just more passing detritus? & if so, who the hell wanders around with a dead rat in a bag (apart from Tom from Father Ted)?

Weird.

First hack n slash of the year

Last time I said the next few post would be about the Japan trip. This isn't one of them. I'm having a spot of bother coralling that content so instead I'll tell you what we've been up to today.

When it comes to weeding, hubby tends to favour a scorched earth policy. It ain't subtle, but by god it gets the job done. It's efficient at bringing a weed-donimated border to order, but it does also tend to involve colloteral damage: the blitzing of innocents.

Potato plot

Yesterday, hubby floated the idea of spending some of Sunday planting out the potatoes that are currently sprouting on the kitchen window sill. Hmm... this means clearing some space for them.

The best spot I think is the big bed at the bottom right of the garden, but there are some items of value already in there.

Won't somebody save the children?!

So, who needs protecting from the marauding ground clearance squad?

• Cyclmen: A few years ago, this preminiscient specimen thankfully had the foresight to emigrate from a bed that no longer exists (lost to the pizza oven project). & very happy it is in its new home too.
• Primrose: Also evacuees from the defunct pizza bed, these sorry survivors may not last much longer. Sadly these poor buggers seem to get smaller, not bigger.
• Ferns: Most of them have survived last year's reshuffle in the corner of this bed, I think... most of them...
• Anemone: Planted when the ferns were shuffled, but it has had a terrible winter - we came back from our holidays to find it fair flattened by a slab of sandstone from the boundary wall. Oops :/ I hope it recovers cos its late Autumn white blooms were just lovely.
• Snowdrops: We appear to be massively down on snowdrops this year. Dunno what that's all about - we usually can't move for them. Maybe they've paid the price for last year's restructuring.
• Daffs & tulips: Bought in a giddy moment at the garden centre & planted along to boundary wall for no good reason. But at least I know where they are...
• Clematis: In another giddy moment last year, this time at Asda, I bought 4 climbers for a tenner. Just too good a bargain to miss, only I wasn't really sure where to put them. So I've procrastinated - they're in pots in various locations "to see how they work". Fair play to the one by the yard door as it's showing green shoots already. On the upside, by having it still in its pot, the one by the boundary wall is real easy to shift out of the way of today's groundworks.
• Horseradish: Very little of it above the ground at the mo, but I did mark it out during last year's labelling frenzy. Man, I'm loving those labels right now - they're telling me it's the dwarf narcissus bulbs that are poking their heads through; & this one's telling me not to flatten the horseradish.
  
  & finally, & most importantly
• Nameless plant from a friend: Bunged into this bed for "safe keeping" during the restructuring & then lost under the rampaging burdock that lept the wall. This is the most precious to me cos its not one I've bought. Donated plants seem that bit more special. They're not my plants; they're their plant in our garden. & I always refer to them that way: Richard's raspberries or Anna's purple ground cover plant.
  
  Problem is, I'm not exactly sure what this plant looks like, which is going to make saving it a little trickier. Pants.

Division of labour

So, as I said up top, when it comes to ground clearance, hubby is very enthusiastic. And I am glad for that: it was hearing him battering through the swollen garage door & out into the garden this lunchtime that spurred me off the sofa & into action, to channel his energy.

We established our goals:

1. Don't flatten the valuables.
2. Evict the weeds.
3. Create a potato patch alongside the path.
4. Find the lost plant if poss.

It's good to have a plan.

The bed's a quarter circle easily big enough for us to work in without tripping over each other.

Hubby was on potato plot duty: clearing the strip closest to the path but being careful of the cyclamen, the clematis & the bulbs. He knows some of our regular plants, so he can spot an aquilegia & they can all come out of this bed today cos we've got loads elsewhere.

For myself, I'm hunting the missing plant whilst also clearing the marauding burdock & ivy from the lea of the boundary wall. The burdock didn't go down without a fight:

Burdock burrs: nature's Velcro

Don't I know you?

There were loads of green leaves underneath last year's dead but still bolshy burdock stem, so I'd assumed they were either new leaves of this year's burdock, or new baby burdocks. But as I put the big fork in & lifted the 1st clump, I spotted flowers amongst the foliage. Hang on... this isn't burdock then... Looking over the rest of the leaves I found more little flowers. Ace! I've found the missing plant! It was right in front of me all the time... I'm an idiot.

It's been busy while I've been ignoring it & had fended well amongst our usual bullies. So I lifted a big chunk of it, dumped it into a bucket of water so it didn't dry out while I dug over the rest of the bed... I say I dug over the rest of the bed, hubby volunteered to do it. As I said, he does like a bit of slash & burn, & Sunday is usually an exercise day for him... I'm sounding pathetic so I'll shut up & get busy with the coffee machine...

All done

Bed turned, weeds expunged, potatoes planted, friend's plant re-homed, garden waste wheelie bin filled & 2 bags over. Now to do the washing up.

Gardening has helped me get into the zen of the clean up. Every job creates mess & you could view the tidying as a bit of a chore (OK, to be honest, when tackling the hedge from hell, it is). But I've found I really like cleaning the mud off the tools & putting them away on the rack. Does that make me sound like James May arranging his spanners? Don't care, cos I like an ordered socket set too so nur!

However I always forget to clean my boots. They may be on my my feet but they're just not on my radar. I use these very same boots when I ride my bike, & that usually means I realise they're still caked in half the garden just as I'm pulling them on before heading out to work.

But today was different cos hubby was gardening too, & his boots were the 1st, nay the only thing he cleaned. He hates cleaning up after a job, but he does look after his boots, & so following his good lead my boots actually got a timely scrub today too. I might even polish them once they're dry. Maybe.

Tomorrow morning I'll not only have clean boots, but I'll open the curtains & see a corner of order amongst the chaos. A good start to the coming gardening year.